Okay, we’re going to open a can of worms here, and we hope you’ll read this entire post before passing judgement. Here it goes…
A little while ago I was checking our Twitter account. One of the people we follow (let’s call her Helen) puts up great tweets. I saw one that evoked some insights that I thought would be worth sharing. In her tweet Helen wrote,
“They say behind every man is a good woman, but I think that’s a lie. Cause when it comes to u, I’d rather have u by my side.”
You’ll have to forgive the grammar and spelling. The quote was probably condensed to fit Twitter’s 140 character per post limit.
The above tweet is obviously an alternative version of the popular original quote,
“Behind every great / successful man is a good woman.”
A Can of Worms Worth Opening
Helen’s tweet is nice, and we don’t deny for a minute that relationship is about partnership, not one person over the other. When I read the tweet, however, I couldn’t help but wonder if everything after the “but” wasn’t an attempt to make the quote politically correct; to make it consumable in a culture that demands, and believes, that men and women are exactly the same in more ways than they actually are. Donna and I prefer the original quote…”Behind every great / successful man is a good woman.” Here’s why. (As I said, keep reading before passing judgment.)
Being Your Best…No Compromise, No Regret
Men and women are not the same. More and more physiological, emotional and neurological research are confirming this everyday. Each gender has their own strengths and weaknesses. But when I say we prefer the original quote, we’re not talking about what men and women are able to “do”. What we like about the above quote has more to do with what it says about the energic relationship between men and women….how they are best together.
Women boost the energic power that drives men and motivates them to produce. Women set the tone in relationships and give men purpose. A woman’s support, encouragement and trust makes life easier and fruitful for men. A woman’s criticism, distrust and unwanted interference in what he is up to pushes a man away and causes him to shut down. Successful men, including Prime Ministers, Presidents and even Albert Einstein understood this principle.
In a recent “Between Men and Women” Couples Relationship Retreat, one of the male participants put it this way,
“When I’m with ‘Jody’ and there is flow, I feel great about myself. I can engage myself more at work and think about the goals that I want to reach. I just feel empowered. I feel like my life is together in the sense that my relationship is in order. Things feel great. We have flow. I have flow in the rest of my life.
“Yet when there is conflict in the relationship I go to work and all I can think about is making things right. I can’t think about this project or that project. I put it on the backburner. I want to put all of that stuff to the side. I just want things to be right [with her] because when it’s ‘right’ I feel like I can do anything.”
So to say, “Behind every great / successful man is a good woman,” is not about limiting what women can experience or what they are capable of. It is simply recognizing the natural and profound energic to and fro…the dance if you will…that is always going on between men and women, a dance that has both men and women be at their best without compromise or regret.
Having your “heart-nership” evolve in the direction you want it to go is often as simple as understanding the invisible conversation that is always going on between men and women.
To fully understand this works, and how you can work it in your current or future relationships attend an upcoming “Between Men and Women” Couples Relationship Retreat or register for a private 1-on-1 couples intensive program. For details click here:
Group Retreat: “Between Men and Women” Couples Relationship Retreat
As always, come back and let us know about your comments on this post.