Can a couples retreat fix my marriage? It certainly can if you’re committed to it! If you’re thinking about a couples retreat to rejuvenate your relationship, keep reading for an important tip that can help you get great results.
We all want to have the best in the area of relationship and marriage. Who doesn’t? It seems to go great in the beginning, and yet with time, the majority of marriages simply go downhill. We go from fun, ease and satisfaction with our partner to conflict and struggle. Then, we have to look for a way to get off the train to destruction.
Over the years of working with hundreds of couples in the retreat setting, I have spotted a trend that is worth avoiding. It’s what I call the “Fix My Partner Syndrome”. This syndrome tends to show up in the absence of a working structure that supports people in pulling for the positive in their partner and the relationship. Here’s how it works: It starts innocently enough as we begin to quietly notice aspects of our partner that we don’t like. Of course, this is normal when it happens occasionally. What we don’t realize is that over time, what we focus on grows. As we consistently focus on what is wrong with our partner, our partner seems to get worse, our relationship begins to take an adversarial tone, and the spirit of “team” is lost.
As couples come into any kind of a marriage improvement program, it’s important for each partner to take a good honest look to see if they have a back conversation that is going on in their head that goes something like this, “I am coming into this retreat so that you can “fix” my partner.” This is a counter productive approach that will get in the way of you getting the most out of your retreat for your relationship. You won’t be in alignment with the intention of the retreat because you will be focused on your own personal expectations of what you think your partner needs. That is, you may be attached to how you think the retreat should go, how conversations should roll out, and what the facilitators should or shouldn’t say.
The best way to come to a couples retreat is to be open and in receiving mode. Trust that an experienced retreat facilitator is skilled in a methodical process that is very intentional on getting couples good results and will do the same for you. The best and most successful approach is to:
- Focus on what you are getting, rather than worrying about what your partner is getting;
- Trust the process.
Click below to discover the secret to having a FUN and FULFILLING relationship in a RELAXED and UNIQUE 2-day Alberta couples retreat:
Between Men and Women Couples Relationship Retreat
GREAT RELATIONSHIPS START HERE!