In part 1 of this series, we reminded you that you are Desire, and that the more you express it, the better you and everyone around you feels.
We also asked you to make a big list…the bigger the better…of what you want to do that would make this Valentine’s Day the best one ever.
The next step is an important one…Ask for it!
(If you didn’t see the first post in the series, go read it now so you don’t miss out – Click Here – “Valentine’s Day 101 (Pt 1) – The Wonder of Who You Are”.)
#2 THE REQUEST: The A.R.T. of Asking for What You Want so You Both Win.
A lot goes into making a powerful request that has you both feel good. For instance, your tone and your “agenda” (what you’re really doing when you make a request) are important. We don’t have time to delve into those topics in detail here, though we will be doing that in a new training that’s coming soon.
What we want to share with you is a simple formula for making an effective request that leaves everyone feeling empowered and free. Think of the request like a piece of A.R.T.
A = Approval (Let him know how he wins with you.)
R = Request (Ask for what you want.)
T = Thanks (Thank him in advance for delivering what you asked for.)
Ask for what you want like this (remember, put it in your own words. Just make sure the pieces are all there.):
(Approval) “I love it when we spend time together.”
(Request) “I would like to make Valentine’s Day really special. I made a list of things I would love to do with you. Can you please put together an evening that’s fun and amazing?”
(Thanks) “Thank you. I’m looking forward to it already. Oh, and whatever you set up from the list is going to be perfect.”
This last sentence is an important one to add. It let’s him know there is a win on the horizon. This will overcome a lot of his doubt and will motivate him to set up a fun evening.
Remember, however, if you say it’s going to be perfect, you have to mean it. If you say it will be perfect, and then you focus on what didn’t work about what he produced, the loss will discourage him from doing it again. Just sayin’…
In the last post in the series, we’ll dive into the secret to keeping your husband motivated and wanting to do more for you. Without this, your guy is going to back-up and shut down, so understanding it is all-important. Check it out here: Valentines Day 101 (Pt 3) – The Simple Secret to a Happy Husband
For more about how to discover the secret to having a FUN and FULFILLING relationship in a RELAXED and UNIQUE 2-day Alberta couples retreat, click here: Between Men and Women Alberta Couples Relationship Retreat
To Your Greatness!