Like a lot of couples who go into business together, Donna and I had trust “issues” to overcome when we started the “Between Men and Women” Workshop.
Usually when people talk about having “trust issues” in relationship – whether it be in business relationships or romantic relationships – it’s assumed they are talking about being able to trust each other. In reality, however, there is a subtle yet critical distinction that needs to be made, and it involves understanding the differences in what trust means to a man and what it means to a woman.
In our case, it wasn’t about being able to trust each other. I wanted Donna to trust me, and Donna wanted to be able to trust me. That’s how it is for a lot of couples, whether they are building a home-based business together or are in the business of building a life together.
Here’s how it works.
Men want to be trusted. Why? Because when a woman believes in her man it motivates him to produce, and production is what men are all about. In other words, a woman’s trust is a key ingredient for a man doing what he does best – produce for his partner, his family and himself.
Women, however, are more concerned about being able to trust. She needs to trust the man she is with. When she trusts him she will feel safe. When she feels safe she can drop into what feels good. She is free to enjoy the experiences she wants in life, rather than focusing on doing everything herself. She gives up that responsibility to her man.
How perfect is that? Men want to be trusted and women want to trust.
So, here’s the gold.
Men, if you want her to trust you, you must be trustworthy. Do what you say you are going to do. Commit carefully, and fulfill fully. Be willing to take a risk, especially in the area of what she wants. If you fulfill on what she wants, she will trust you and splash her magic all around.
Women, if you want to trust him, you must be willing to trust. You must be willing to give up the notion that you have to handle it all yourself. Ask him for what you want or what you want to have done; give him the freedom to fulfill or not; and let him fulfill in his way. Offering up your trust will motivate him to produce more because it’s a win for him and for men winning feels great. And, in the process, free-up yourself and your energy for enjoying the experiences you desire.
If you want to know how this works and how to make it work in your relationship join us for the next “Between Men and Women” Couples Relationship Retreat. For full details and upcoming dates visit:
Retreat: “Between Men and Women” Couples Relationship Retreat
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